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Please Be Dying, But Not Too Quickly

Susan Baumgaertel · January 24, 2026

A raw conversation with Bess Stillman on caregiving, medicine’s hidden costs, grief, and becoming a mother

If this had been an interview on stage, the room would have been quiet. The audience would have been holding its collective breath. There would have been some tears. And some laughter.

But this was a live, virtual conversation…

And time flew.

Bess Stillman, MD was our recent guest on Voices With Vigor, part of the Caregiver Collaborators series this past December. 

Bess has navigated more than most, caring for her husband Jake, then giving birth to their daughter just 10 weeks after his death.

Our intimate conversation covered many compelling topics:

✍️  Writing and chronicling the end of a life

🧭  System navigation difficulties

⛔️  Managing the medical bureaucracy

🔬  Clinical trials behind-the-scenes

👩‍💻  Telemedicine restrictions

📚  Writing stories important to all of us

✅  Compartmentalization

🍼  Having a baby when life is ending

☯️  Grief and motherhood

🧬  The human condition

You’ll come to understand why Bess said “Please be dying, but not too quickly.” 

She’ll also explain what she meant by saying, “Medicine asks a lot of us [physicians] that I think we all have been trained to just accept as normal and probably should not have that be normalized because it’s bad for caregivers and it’s bad for patients.”

Although the video is sometimes a bit choppy, the audio is crystal clear. 💎

➡️➡️➡️  Access the free, on-demand video replay of our live, unfiltered, and unscripted conversation here.

In the meantime, here’s a clip about clinical trials to stimulate your curiosity!

Learn more about our next trio of remarkable guests on the Voices With Vigor home page.

Missed a live show? Catch the free on-demand video replay here!

💫

Voices With Vigor… creating light with sound, one conversation at a time

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